The Demon Bride of Twitter
“I am eating”
“I am Going here…”
“I have Come from there”
“I have baked a cake”
“I am happy”
“I am sad”
“I am a Gentile, I am a Jew”
“I am at XYZ place;anyone here want to meet up?”
Phew….I worry about the Demon bride of Twitter – a swinging hip chick with a modern job in the crossover laced techno-branding sphere. Profiles on Flickr, Facebook, Myspace, and umpteen other presence services.
She is, by anyone’s measure, riding the new wave of social media. I’m sure she has a Second Life, if even only as a professional dalliance.
I worry about the Demon bride of Twitter. I worry about the industry as a whole the way I worry about family members. Maybe I need to worry more about my consulting practice?
(This conversation has been re-dramatized in a kind of Shakespearean or Edwardian dramatic language, to make things interesting, but the intent of all dialog remains faithful, and perhaps even more understandable if rendered in this fashion:
Check out this exchange in a presentation I was making at a large, established Silicon Peninsula Tech Giant:
“So consultant, impressive portfolio, no?, What have you for this hungry, hungry VP; something enticing, no? Something satisfying, current and smelling of the blood sacrifice?’, thus spake the VP of Product Development. My answer, as in all times considered, was crafted in it’s structure from the times immemorial and has served me well:
I began thus: “Yea, I have here to offer a trenchant Spice, well researched strategy to overtake fools in the camp of Brand Monitoring, for they have walked in darkness by allying with the sole army of the brand owners. Further, I have fully seen into these matters whilst with my last alliance, see here my Powerpoint –
My Paige clicked his remote: ‘Thus six months on contract with the most gargantuan of Europe’s Telecom royal monopolies, and again:
“Thus more several months I did verify this new channel:
and this craft of my reporting is reasoned soundly:
“For this now are services that will pay handsomely for the users thereof, where your social networks and video hosts are failing while the LIBOR falls to disrepute”. (London Interbank Overnight Rate)
And, so the President’s of Vice fanned through the supplicant’s reporting, and commented thus:
” Have you no Facebook, no twitter, or not even a mention of the moment?, he said for the group gathered?
I took my account of all that fell to my eyes, in view of all there, and saw, and saw, not just what was there, but what, to my understanding could have been manifest in due:
” I see, growing faint, that there are people carrying boxes and milk crates from their desks all about, while we here sip and sup, while the Demon bride lances furiously at a QUERTY on a bus in the Loop, we see that here before us there is an edifice about to fall – boxes they are carrying, don’t you see, here before you, your friends and co-workers…!”
They looked at me appalled, and said, “and you, you will save like the Hebrew Messiah of Olde? To stir up insurrection rather than play to the ear of the Emperor? ”
They then clamored about themselves, and said, “we had you here, at our gracious invitation, not to incite, but to lull the end of year fears!
I railed at the collected gathering while keep my voice civil;
“Our good coin is disgraced, while we wash each other’s dishes, and sell to each other insurance, and as we cede the hard crafts and professions to who will someday dominate us all from the East.
…’Now what buys today a loaf, tomorrow buys a muffin, and if the Lords in your Assembly here hide from the truth, our coin will soon buy Nothing.” An eerie echo filled the conference room without a call from your author truly:
“I say, the bill must be paid, whatever models you craft, must be justified, thus creating a value, a service good and well for all, besides the evil duplication of you all”.
“To make a NEW THING, your legacy out here North and West, but a disgrace upon you, all who copy and echo and inflate with words, you will give away a legacy of gold.”
“Heed my words, Lords of the Valley, create and truly innovate, and stop this foolish rally of the duplication of your models and the twittering of fools”.
See my advice here – to bring this poor man’s knowledge to bear, well reasoned, in the service of the European Kings of Telecom. The Choice of the Royal to ignore the Vizier’s advice is Legend – and now this advice is yours.”
They altogether Murmured again amongst themselves, and had their serfs escort me down, with the parting words, “will shall consider your proposal.’
So then I checked unto the Oracle, the Demon Virgin Bride of Twitter, what did she and her coven have for the omen of the day that a poor analyst can attain for Knowledge, and salve these wounds so met:
What are thou, doing, Demon Bride:
“I am tired” “I am cookng”, “I am meeting this or who”
“am I here? “I observe” and “I don’t know!”
“and..you, poor boy, you?….”