Saving the Newspaper business

Toilet paper
Image via Wikipedia

With apologies to Scott Karp.

I hereby announce the first major aggregator of legacy newsprint style reporting for the 21st century, “ReadWipeWeb.com” the first newspaper printed on 100% recycled toilet tissue packaged on a 1000ft. long, 24″ wide roll. Read, then wipe. The content will also be available on the web – get it?

Each 10 year subscription will also include, as our gift to you for subscribing, a 27″ Apple iMac of 2009 vintage, to be used as an a Kindle style reader. That’s right, a specialty modified Macintosh all in one computer on a wheeled hand truck with self-contained fuel-cell power (butane gas-powered fuel cells really exist). An honest to goodness TSA waiver is included. An attractive hinged cover is included, making your new e-book reader look very similar to an oversized Surface tablet. I know that Sony now makes  a 19 inch Android tablet , so this is my contribution to the product matrix.

 

So, !000FT of toilet paper roll printed with Web Finance and Deals news from the Valley, and a 2009 Vintage iMac 27 i7 converted to a e-book reader, powered by a Butane Fuel Cell. you want a 4G Portable WiFi Hotspot? Go buy one, ya big dummies!

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